I began counseling a month ago in order to figure out how to deal with all of my husband’s problems. What I found out, is that maybe I had a few more problems of my own than I originally thought.
What I have learned so far that has been most poignant is this: I could have married someone easier. Someone who made my life simple, did want I wanted him to do, responded to my complaints, and was there every time I needed him. Instead, I married who God wanted me to marry: someone who could help me grow as a person to be God’s best. When my counselor first asked me this question, “What does God want for you?” I responded, “To be happy.”
I was wrong. God wants me to be disciplined. He wants me to work hard, be the best I can be, sacrifice like He did, help others, and have Grace for all…especially my husband. He wants me to learn compassion for those who have wronged me, as Joseph had compassion for his brothers , to learn trust like Abraham had when he made the journey to sacrifice his son Isaac on the mountain, and to learn the ultimate gift of Grace. And so far, as I attempt to work through all of this, I happen to notice that I am a little happier.
As I try not to yell and instead be a little more gentle, I'm finding a little peace.
As I try to be thankful for all of the wonderful things my husband does do, I'm realizing that I can do a little (maybe a lot) more myself.
As I try to recognize some of the ways I can grow in Christ, I notice a few ways that I can humbly help other people grow too.
And as I try to work through all of the emotions that come with sharing your life and your children with another human being, I'm realizing what God meant when he said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
